I’ve always have a rough go at keeping up with a blog; I end up at a point at which I’m not sure what I have to say anymore. The only blog that I really kept up with was one charting the creation of a specific play I was writing at the time. I charted my research, the comings and goings of characters, the backtracking on ideas, the epiphanies, the failures, the joys, and every step was on that blog. So, where’s the change?
Let’s see… Back then I was in grad school. I had assignments. And, in the words of one of my latest characters, I was “freakishly prolific.” I had new play ideas coming so quickly that I couldn’t keep up with them. Two plays a year was more than I’d ever written… Or have written since. There are many reasons for my drop off in productivity ranging from bouts of depression (that turned out to be bi-polar disorder), new full-time jobs stealing energy and writing time, married life, and (as of this September) becoming a father. Since leaving grad school in 2006, I’ve written… Okay, let’s take a look at this and not be depressed…
The Brothers Caramillo (which is sorely in need of a rewrite)
Rattlesnake
Books & Bridges
and am in the midst of a new, untitled play that is using the codename Pot Kettle Black
And it’s 2013. Almost six and a half years, and I’ve come up with 3 1/4 plays. However, one year I got on a rewriting kick to try and jumpstart my writing again and rewrote Holy Schmidt!, Dialogues with Lars, and De Colores. It’s been a struggle to write, not only because of the personal reasons mentioned before, but also because I’ve lost a bit of touch with the theatre. Not the industry as a whole, but the actual place, the physical, wonderful space of the stage. One of my plays has not seen a stage since I directed a tiny production of my play All Grace. I’ve forgotten how to play in the space, how to use the space and all of its wonders, how lights plays on bodies and creates environments, how sound can influence a scene, how actors can play in silence. I’ve forgotten that plays can be snippets, vignettes, images, moments, and not merely “scenes.” I’ve lost track of the theatre and theatricality. Ironically, as a director, all I see is theatricality, I see all the tools at my disposal, and my imagination knows how to manipulate them. So, what changes in my brain when writing vs. directing that one would open up possibilities and the other would shut them down? Maybe, as a writer, I’m asking myself the wrong questions. Maybe I’m limiting myself because I don’t “have anything new to say.” Maybe I’m not having fun.
I think that last one is a big part of it. It’s not fun right now. And who wants to spend hours working on something that isn’t fun?
So, here’s what I’m going to do, dear 1 reader. I’m going to write posts about the creation of my latest play and see if I can find the fun. Feel free to get on me if I’m faltering or falling behind in my posts. I can’t write posts if I’m not writing the play, so it’s a double win, hopefully.
As a final thought: I miss dramaturgs.
Chris
Chris Leyva 